Re-draft of Script - Final Script

During the production of our film we realised that there were a number of ways that we could improve the script and helped the story be told better. We had a change of plan and decided to make the dialogue more informative. It was also at this point that we had the thought to change the story and have Dylan be a schizophrenic. This meant that we would have to change a few lines in which Dylan talks about happy teenage life and turn it into dialogue of him talking about his schizophrenia struggle.

We chose an extract from a poem that we found very striking called 'Aubade' by Philip Larkin. The stanza below stood out in particular. The plan would be to have this right at the beginning before the story kicks in as an intro/ prologue:


These few lines in particular:

"...No sight, no sound,
No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,
Nothing to love or link with,
The anasthetic from which none come round."

Below is the very final version of the script:

FADE IN - EXT.

Dylan, a young man of 19 years old and wearing dark clothes stands on the shore of a deserted, isolated beach. The sky is grey and the waves are calm. He looks out to the sea with an expression of desolate hope.

An internal monologue (VOICEOVER)

Montage one:

(with building intensity throughout) 

It's been one hundred and nineteen days since I last saw another human being...

Sometimes I wonder if this is just a nightmare that I’m forgetting to wake up from… Or maybe I’m in a coma and unconscious to the world around me. I feel lonely and I feel scared. Maybe that’s a blessing because I used to feel nothing. Once upon a time, I had a family. People said we were the perfect family. I remember my mother and father. I remember playing out in the garden with my older brother in Summer. We were young. The warmth from the sun soothing our skin. The smell of freshly cut grass and the vivid colours swirling around us. I remember our brightly illustrated books and comics. They gave us the belief that we were invincible. I think that’s as close as you can get to pure happiness.

Montage two

I should probably introduce myself now. My name is Dylan and I am Nineteen. I’ve never been very good at the whole social convention thing. You see, at the age of thirteen I was diagnosed with schizophrenia. My parents passed away in a fatal accident which I don’t want to talk much about. Firstly, I suffered from PTSD and then it developed into something completely different. I completely lost control of my own head. By then, my brother was eighteen. He had to leave school, abandon his hopes of a normal life and take care of me. He did a great job, considering what a burden I was. I was going to university in September to study astronomy and I could even stretch so far as to say, the future was looking bright. I had a girlfriend. She made me feel something. Love? I’m not sure it was that, but it was something. I told her I loved her and I felt like a fraud. I just couldn’t keep it together and I wrecked it like everything else in my life. I felt distant and thought I didn’t need her anymore. Never ever lose sight of the important things in life…

Montage Three

***’Nothing Can fear a thing it will not feel, not seeing

That this is what we fear - No sight, No sound,

No touch or taste or smell, nothing to think with,

Nothing to love or link with

the anaesthetic from which none come round.’

Hindsight is a funny thing and somehow, no matter how much control I clawed back from my schizophrenia, I was fighting a losing battle. And so, I left. Ignoring everything my heart was telling me and fully submitting to my head. Everything went grey and I lost sight of what I had. The schizophrenia came back with a vengeance and the more I suppressed it, the more my head contorted. I was paranoid and couldn’t silence my thoughts. All I could think was death would be easier and no one would even care. Selfish old me. I think of how I felt back then and that was easy in comparison to this. This Hell… This middle ground… This purgatory. 

What’s really strange is that I find things long lost from throughout my life. Memories wash up on the shore of this abyss like pieces of puzzle that I’m supposed to connect together.  Am I supposed to make some kind of self discovery to buy me a ticket out of here? Some kind of realization to get me out of this prison world?…When I first came here, I liked being alone, the peace, the solitude. Eventually I became confused about what was happening as a thousand rational and irrational thoughts flew through my head. Did anyone know I was here? After a while, it didn’t matter what this was but I couldn’t handle it. I was sinking deeper and deeper every single day. My chest confined like the waves above it, unable to breathe or reason. Then it became clear to me that I didn’t get out of the bath I took four months ago. That I had taken too many of my meds that night….

Montage four

(Whispers) This is my afterlife.

Analysing A Film Review

In preparation for writing the film review I analysed a film review from the Empire magazine. I chose their review of "Bridge of Spies" as I thought that the layout would be most like the layout of our own film review. In my analysis I stuck post-it notes to the different sections of the review explaining the information that was given in each section and so showing the layout. Below are a number of photos that I took of each post-it note with the magazine:

The film review begins with the title of the film and some key points about it such as the release date, the name of some actors and the director. Then there will be an intro in which the basic plot summary is stated. This summary is only a few lines long and gets straight to the point.

After the plot summary is stated there is the main review. This is the section which writes about all of the different aspects of the film and the critic will tell the reader what they thought of each individual aspect. The aspects that are mentioned tend to be; writing, acting, cinematography, editing, muse-en-scène and soundtrack. The reader can make their own judgement on whether or not to watch the film based on what the critic has to say. In this sense, the main review is quite useful as it encourages people to go and see the types of films that they should hopefully like and it will also make it clearer to the reader whether or not it is a film that they would enjoy watching.

At the end of a review the critic will often write one last line or a few last lines to sum up their overall review of the film. It is by reading this part of the review that readers can tell whether or not this film is a good quality film to watch or not. The summary of the review will often be what make people decide to watch a film or turns them against the idea of watching a film. The rating may also be placed here although it can also be placed at the start of the review as well. The rating is normally out of 5 stars and so any film that receives 4 or 5 stars is normally a film that people will want to go and see.

Final Audience Feedback

Cinematography:

• very clever shots in final flashback
• flashbacks = effective in telling stories
• good connecting flashbacks with objects he finds on beach
• panning shot at end works

Sound

• seagulls set beach scene
• noise at final flashback = dramatic and build tension
• dialogue tells story, giving info about Dylan
• clever to create own soundtrack, different/unique

Props

• idea of him finding objects from his life was clever
• photos show earlier days when things were easy for him

Audience Feedback

https://youtu.be/03axfriPgZA

Film Review Planning

We have to make a review of our film. There were numerous things that we needed to think about before creating it. We made a list of the things that would need to be included in a film review. Below are some of our ideas:

• Photos of the film
• Names of cast and crew
• Brief synopsis of the film
• Commentary on acting
• Commentary of cinematography
• Commentary on scriptwriting
• Overall rating of the film

In most film reviews, a main image will dominate one or both pages. This will be a screenshot of the film. There is sometimes also a smaller image showing the supporting actors.The title of the film with a tag line for the review will be below. At the start of the review, important information about the film will be included for sample; the release date, the director and the well-known actors who star in it. The main body of the review will all be the same text and then there will be a significant lime from the review in the same text but larger and sometimes in a different colour. The general verdict for the film and the star review will be almost always be at the bottom right hand corner in a film review.

Below are examples of film reviews that we will be using as inspiration:

Making An Ident

As part of the editing, our group thought that it would be a good idea to create an ident. After the main funding film company's ident, there are a few from waller production companies.

Last year for our film 'An Fiach Raicleach', we created our own company called Bronze Age Productions. As a slight change from last year's name we decided this time to go for Bronze Age Vintage.

Part of the reason for the change was that we wanted the company name to reflect something about our film. The word 'vintage' is used to describe things that are old and from the past. Although a modern setting, Dylan is reflecting on his past life. We see flashbacks from his past and so we go between past and present throughout the film. Due to this we thought that Bronze Age Vintage would be a professional company name that would fit with the film.

Credits

CREDITS are added at the beginning and end of a motion picture to provide credit to those who were involved in the production. The people whose names would be included would be the cast and the crew (such as creators, producers and lead actors). The end credits typically mention everyone ho was involved. There are two common types of end credits for motion pictures. The first is one where the names flip from page to page. The second is one where they scroll across the background. There tends to be a black solid screen and the names will appear in small white font as a contrast. They are usually all capital letters. Each set of names will only appear for a short amount of time.

FOR OUR CREDITS We will need to give credit to Mícheal first as the cast are always named first. We will also gave credit to ourselves for our jobs in directing and cinematography. Our assistant cinematographer Andrew will also be credited. We will also split the roles of soundtrack and producing between us. Then will follow anyone else who has been involved in helping to create the film.

CASTING

MICHEAL LYNCH     DYLAN

CINEMATOGRAPHY

EIMEAR McCANN  DIRECTOR OF CINEMATOGRAPHY
CHARLIE BEARE  CINEMATOGRAPHER

ANDREW MURRAY  ASSISTANT CINEMATOGRAPHER

DIRECTOR
ELLIE WILDMAN

MUSIC BY
ELLIE WILDMAN

PRODUCED BY
EIMEAR McCANN
CHARLIE BEARE

SPECIAL THANKS TO
JACK McGARRY